Crybaby

  Crybaby             I was a crybaby in first grade.                 Since my earliest days  I watched my brothers go off to school but when it was my turn to put on the grey slacks, shiny black shoes and Navy blue Norwood Academy jacket I became anxious. Breakfast by then was a finely choreographed routine with a constant schedule, predictable foods, recurring conversations, and inside jokes. To me the breakfast ceremonial was strange and so onto my anxiety was added an uncomfortable feeling of being out-of-place.  After breakfast we kissed Mom and went out the back door. Saying goodbye to Mom meant leaving a world of safety and security and entering a world of danger and insecurity and so onto to my anxiety and uncomfortable feeling of being out-of-place was added fear.  Mom said goodbye to Dad, Jimmy, Mike, Pat, and lastly to me.  She said goodbye to me last because I was the baby of the group. I knew it and everybody else knew it and so onto my anxiety and uncomfortable feeling of